Understanding Life And What No One Told You About Adulthood and Marriage
In the journey of life and while we were growing up, we were taught that our parents will always be there to support, care and protect us. That is one advantage that children enjoy but adults don't.
As you grow up to adulthood, you will have the notion in your mind that you have arrived and that you have everything and less of restriction to do anything that you want however, now you are finally an adult, everything has become clearer and you now understand that in life, you just have to fend for yourself, you just have to struggle for survival, you just have to protect yourself and that you are no more under the protection of your parents.
It will come to a point that your presence in your family begins to irritate your parents especially if you are fully grown and you don't generate any income for the family.
Stages of Growth
There are stages of life you must pass through once you are born into the world. For any of the stage that you skip for any reason, it goes a long way to affecting your effectiveness in the future.
As a child grow from childhood to adulthood, he/she will grow from the stage of kindergarten to nursery school, to Primary School, to the secondary school, to the University and now you ready to go for your Youth Service.
1) Early Childhood stage
This is the stage that the child learns more about his surrounding and is made to mingle with kids of their ages. This stage is primary known as the play stage. At this stage, nothing bothers you but to eat and sleep. This stage comprises of the;
A) Kindergarten stage: At this stage, the kid will go to school to just sleep and mingle with kids like him/her. Writing test or passing exam is not part of to-do on this stage.
B) Preschool stage: This is the stage that the child has slept enough and is getting ready to enter nursery school. Everything the child need to start writing will be made available at this stage.
C) Nursery stage: This is the stage the child feels the heat of being in school. He/she now have simple task to handle both in school and at home. At this stage, the reality of life is slowly setting in however, the parents are still fully there to support. The age bracket for this stage is normally between 1 to 5 years of age. It might vary depending on some factors including money, child IQ etc.
2) Primary stage
At this stage, the child is slowly growing to maturity and can now handle some level of pressure from parents and teachers. At this stage, the child will learn to ready advanced words, writing better and solve elementary mathematics. The age range is normally 5-11 however, it might vary depending on some factors.
3) Secondary stage
This stage comprises of the junior and the senior levels. At this level, you have mastered how to solve complex mathematics and you can find your way in handling domestic issues like fetching water, filling the gas, going on distant errands etc. At this stage, your parents are still there to cater for you as their child. The age bracket to complete the 2 levels on the secondary stage is normally between 11 to 17 or 18 years old.
4) Tertiary stage
At this stage, you easily live on your own and can make personal decisions about your life without interference from your parents. At this stage, you can handle complex problems and can decide not to be home even your school is not in section. At this stage, your parents still sponsor your spendings. There is no age bracket for this stage however, the start year is normally above 18 years of age. At this stage, you are in higher learning what you use to shape your future after the education.
5) NYSC stage
At this stage, you are done with school and have gone to serve your father land. This is the stage that the realities of life slowly emanate. At this stage, your parents may not be will to fund your spendings again however; if you are lucky enough, they might still be willing to fund your spending. This is where you start thinking of what you can make out of your life.
Life After Service
After going for your Youth Service and completing same, everybody now believes that you can take care of yourself and you on the other end you are trying to make things better for yourself. If you are lucky enough, you will get a job immediately and once you get a job the next thing that will cross your mind will be to marry.
Life is a journey, please don't compare your life with any other persons. Life is a journey, you just have to push and believe you will make it. If you think that this person has arrived when you have not arrived, that is already a thief of your joy. You just have to be grateful to God at all time and believe that God will always see you through.
When you start working and start making money, I have an advice for you, find a way to marry and when you want to marry don't base your analysis on beauty. There is more to marriage than just physical beauty. Physical beauty fades but the inner beauty will not fade, so don't go for beauty alone. Go for beauty of the heart, go for pure love.
Don't Marry out of sympathy, don't marry because you are the first in your family and that your time is going. Marry because you connected with somebody and that he/she has the same vision with you.
Before you start to think of marriage, you need to first set your goals on what you want in a man or a woman and once you see that in your intended partner it becomes easy for you to make your decision.
If it takes time to connect with your intended partner, believe in yourself and never give up on yourself, everything will be fine.
If as a man nobody was there to support you, don't compare your life with somebody that already had everything he/she needed to survive. That person is probably starting from an 80% while you are probably starting from 0%.
You will agree with me that it will be easier for the first person to reaches his/her financial destination but will take a longer time for you that is starting from scratch to get to your own financial destination. Believe that everything will be okay and that you will reach your financial destination.
My advice to all single persons is to believe in yourself and don't love because of money, don't love because of beauty, don't love because of the back side of a woman, don't love because of a body that you think is captivating. The reason is because, anything you see on anybody's body, one day they will fade but the inner beauty in a man or a woman goes beyond. The beauty will always be there because it is not one on the outside.
Anything that comes from the inside lasts but anything that comes from the outside fades with time. Believe in yourself and never give up on yourself. Marry because you truly love that person, marry because that person makes you happy, marry because that person truly cares for you, then forget every other thing. In the marriage, God will see you through.
I thank God for making me meet my wife. To me she's a perfect woman. Her beauty is more from the inside. I married her because of the true love i have for her. So, I advise you to also marry because of true love, because of inner beauty and then forget about the rest. God will handle every other thing for you.
Don't always find fault in marriage or point fingers instead, work together with partner in finding the solution. For me, I hate pointing fingers instead, I would rather take the blame and then find a way to solve the problem. Pointing fingers or pushing blames does not solve anything in marriage. Instead of pushing blames, take responsibility and find a way to solve the problem.
Believe me, your marriage will be smooth, you will enjoy your marriage, you will enjoy your partner. Believe in yourself, believe in your partner and also believe in God.
If you are a man reading this article, just know that you have a great role to play your marriage. Women are just like receivers, anything you give to them, they will receive it, transform it and then give it back to you as the man. If you give love, you will receive love in double. If you give hatred, you will receive hatred in double fold. If you give money, that money will be transformed in another form and is then given back to you as the man.
Marriage is like partnership; nobody can do it alone. Believe and God will see you through the marriage.
I remember when I met my wife, seeing her alone made me happy because I already set down everything I needed in my intended wife and then when I saw her it was easy for me to know since I had everything written down in my heart, in my mind and then my brain.
God is ever ready to help anyone that needs him, he will see you through. He is ever ready to support and help you anytime you call on him. All you have to do is to believe in him and he will help you. Amen
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